Adios Mis Amigos Del Golf

Mientras Sam yviaje de Karlos(with a K) a Panama, dejaran a los tres amigos para jugar para las proximas dos semanas. Who am I kidding? My Spanish is actually limited to:abra la boca(open your mouth) and escupa(spit).Sam and I will enjoy the break from the pressure of competing with The Friday Fivesome for the next two weeks. Hopefully LT will return from the IR and we will continue to pray for Norma. Please keep good records for rankings, shot's of the year, etc. By the way, mission work is worth 500 points per day of mission toward The Provisional Mulligan Cup. Due to Sam being in Panama longer than Karl, he will be the early favorite to be #1 in the next rankings. As requested by Mike, he is to give Ron ocho strokes this week.
ADIOS AMIGOS!!!!!!!!!

Down goes Wylie! Down Goes Wylie! Down Goes Wylie!

As he walked off the 18th green, Mike, sounded like Howard Cosell describing the Frazier/Forman fight of years gone bye: "down goes Wylie!" he kept yelling. "I'm just telling it like it is", Mike said in his attempt to imitate Cosell. Indeed, Mike was dominating in the best front nine in memory of TFF play, making the turn at 2 under par. By the 16th hole, Sam did appear to be a little punch drunk as he took a nine, and the end of his undefeated season was only a matter of a couple of holes away.Once again, LT remained on the IR and without his trophy, as the other 4 headed east to Falcon Ridge. From the start, it appeared to be a Warren/Short match. Both parred #1, and on #2, Karl had the shot of the day: from 158 yards out he went over the trees landing 3 feet from the hole for an easy birdie. However, Mike nailed a 10 footer for birdie and a 3 stroke lead on Sam. Karl was asked about the possibility of beating his partner before they teed it up on #3. "Obviously, I'm in the zone, if I can just keep this up, at a minimal I'll shot 9 under; but that's being conservative. I don't think Mike can keep up with that." Karl preceded to take a 7 on the par 3-3rd hole. As Mike continued to par holes, the frustration began to mount for Sam. He tried to intimidate his opponent on the par 5, #5 with the drive of the year, a 387 yarder(wind aided but no cart path). However, Sam was only able to par and in fact had his 1st round without a birdie all year. Ron had a nice 13 foot par putt on #7 to remain only 1 behind Karl.(even with the stroke Karl had to give) The killer for Sam occurred on #8 where he had an excellent birdie opportunity only to watch Mike putt in a 27 footer for birdie from off the green. Karl had 1 of his many 3 putts of the day on #8 and Ron picked up a stroke. #9 proved to be costly for Karl as he 3 putted for a double and Ron picked up 3 as he birdied with a 21 footer from the fringe. TFF blogspot editor would like to take this opportunity to make the following announcement:" TFF will no longer keep statistics, nor report club tosses as this statistic is clearly interfering with what we term "natural responses to the game." As an example it was clear that Karl desired to toss his 8 iron 50-60 yards on #9 but knowing that TFF reporters would record it for all to read he gently dropped the club instead.(TFF estimated the gentle drop to have covered 37 yards.)It is our hope that the readers of this blog will understand the need to let the emotions of TFF players naturally be released without fear of documentation."Now back to the match! At the turn:
M-34!!!,S-39,R-42,K-45
With the hopes of an under par round in his thoughts, Mike took a triple bogie 7 on #10.However, Sam was only able to pick up 1 with a 6.Sam picked up 1 more on 15 to close into within 3 of keeping his undefeated season alive.Then came #16 where Sam's previously recorded quadruple bogie occurred.All matches were pretty much over at this point. Mike beat Ron by 12, and Ron beat Karl by 2. Mike will give Ron 8 strokes next time and Ron and Karl will play even. Karl bought Ron's lunch at Hardees and everyone is "all square" on lunches.
Stats of the Day:

Scores:
M-77
S-84
R-89
K-91

Shots of the Day:
K-158yard #2 to 3 feet
S-387yard drive #5

Putts of the day
M-27feet #8
R-212feet#8

Birdies
M-2
K-1
R-1

Club Tosses
This stat is no longer being recorded

A Classic Warren/Darby Match

In what initially looked like a rain out,turned into one of the most comfortable playing conditions of the year. However, as the skies cleared and the temperature remained in the upper 50's, the wind played havoc all day. Sam, Ron, and Karl with a K traveled the short distance to Jones Creek for the first TFF match played since the course reopened. LT was still on the injured reserve with hopes of returning soon. Mike felt his best chance of moving up in the rankings was not to play so he was a no show. Overall the course seemed to be in fair condition, and hopefully will improve as the summer approaches. Unfortunately, there appeared to only be 2 or 3 other groups that played all day at the bargain rate of $20.The greens were very slick but overall puttable. In fact,there were several mid-distance putts made, as well as several 3 putts. Sam hit a 17footer and Karl an 8 footer on #1, both for pars. Karl had to give Ron 1 stroke and after Ron's bogey, they were all square in what would turn into an epic match. All 3 parred #2, including a 12 foot putt by Ron. Sam saved another par on #6 with a 12 foot putt. It was on #8 that the top 2 shots of the day occurred. The shot of the day was Sam's tee shot. Into at least a 25mph headwind, Sam hit his 3 iron as good as he could, 168 yards to within 2 feet of the hole for birdie. Karl chipped in from 27 yards for another birdie. At the turn, Karl was bragging that he had only bogied 1 hole(unfortunately, he had 1 triple and 3 doubles as well). After 9, Ron and Karl are all square. S-39,K-45,R-46. Ron went up 1 on #10 with a par. Karl answered with par putts of 10 feet and 11 feet on #11,12 to go up 1 himself. Sam hit another great 3 iron to 5feet on the tough #14 par 3 but missed the putt for birdie. Karl had a good drive a little long,but 4 putted, Ron doubled also and after 14 Karl was still up 1. Sam made up for his missed birdie opportunity on 14 with an 8 foot birdie on 15. Karl's 2nd shot was knocked straight down by a tree on 16 and he bogied. Ron parred so we're all square going into 17. Ron's 3 putt bogie on 17 cost him a chace to take the lead. This set up a classic Warren/Darby finish. Amazingly, both hit good drives. Ron was out and when his miss hit 8 iron fell 21 yards short, the door was wide open for Karl. What do you think he did? Oh ye of little faith! He nailed a pitching wedge 3.5 feet from the pin, leaving himself an easy uphill putt. With the match all but over, what do you think Ron did? Well you're right, but not like you might have imagined. Ron's 3rd shot was clearly hit too hard and destined to roll off the green. However, it landed in a sand pile on the green and stopped 4 feet above the hole. Ron faced a very slick downhill breaker for a remarkable par. What do you think he did? Right! He nailed it. Unfortunately for Ron, Karl's putter had been hot all day. He calmly stepped up to the tap in and......... Well you guess what he did.... That's right, he left it 1 inch to the right. So Karl and Ron tie. Karl will have to give Ron 1 stroke again next match.
Scores
Sam-77
Karl-86
Ron-87

Birdies
Sam-2
Karl-1

Shots of the day
1. Sam's 3 iron #8 into wind- 2 feet
2. Karl- 27 yard chip in #8

Putts of the day
1. Sam- 17ft par #1

Year to date stats:

Rounds Played
1. Sam-7
2. K-6
3.M-5
4.LT-4
5.R-4

Average score
1.S- 77.79
2.M-81.2
3.LT-86.5
4.R-89.75
5.K-89.83

Birdies/ birdies per round
1.S-11/1.57
2.K-4/.667
3.LT-3/.75
4.R-2/.500
5.M-2/.400

LT/R vs. K/M-- K/M 1-0

Putts of the Year
1.S-36ft birdie #9 at FR Feb.6
2.LT-29ft birdie #17 at Chick.
3.S-28.5ft birdie #9 at Farms
4.K- 21.5ft birdie #13 FR
5.R- 18.7ft birdie #7 FR
6.M-27ft par chick.

Shots of the year
1.M-Sand shot #16 Chick. 1inch
2.S-3iron #8 JC 2ft
3.K-27 yd chip in #8 JC
4.LT-chip shot #6 FR 3 inches
5.R-#4 FR 72 yard chip-2ft.

Club Toss
1.K-37yd putter #2 FR
2.K-36yd-#15 Farms
3.K-18yd #16 Farms
4.M- 10.5ft #15 Chick.

Rankings
1.Sam
2.LT
3.K
4.R
5.M

Last Trip To Chickasaw?

With The Bear Trace at Chickasaw sadly scheduled to close, this may have been TFF last chance to play the course. What would be your favorite memory of TFF playing at Chickasaw? For some it was the time Karl got two clubs stuck in the same tree on #7. After an errant 60 degree shot, Karl threw the club into a nearby white oak . Several tosses later in attempt to knock it out, Karl had his second club stuck. Soon he had other golfers stopping to give advice on retrieving the clubs. About 10 minuets later, Karl had both clubs back and another TFF memory. Because the course is on state park property, it can't be sold, only leased. Why? In economic times like these, why not make an exception? Sell the course to private investors. The state evidently made a mistake using tax payers money building the course. Why not turn it into a big gain for the state? The state didn't have to buy the land, only build the course, clubhouse, and purchase equipment to operate the course. If the state were to sell the course in it's entirety, there should be a return of a few million dollars. Otherwise, the course will grow over and be lost. The state park would only lose a very small percentage of acreage. Wow! Is TFF going political?
Back to a more important subject, Friday's match. Present for the day were all but one, LT. LT was forced to go on the injured reserve after an apparent shoulder injury. The alleged shoulder injury is said to have occurred while throwing his former attorney, Adam, out of The Old Country Store's Ice Cream Fountain. "Once the president pardoned Karl, I had no use for Adam. He was eating us into bankruptcy. When I offered Adam free ice cream for life, I didn't take into consideration a previous encounter that I had with his sister. Because of Ashley, we had to take crab legs off the all you can eat buffet." Anyway, the injury has apparently aided LT as after today's play, he has vaulted into this week's #1 ranking. Ron got the day off to a good start when he muscled a 79 yard drive right down the middle. Mike's response: "It's not long, but it's not wrong." Sam had a nice 160 yard shot from a fairway bunker on #3 for an easy par. He followed that with the shot of the day on #4. His 104 yard wedge apparently lipped the cup stopping 18 inches from the cup for a birdie. On #6 Sam hit a 16.5 foot putt for his 2nd birdie. Also on #6 Ron put his pink ball (PB) into play and his game seemed to come to life. Karl had a nice lost ball par on#9 and at the turn: Sam:38, Mike:40, Karl:44,Ron:47. Mike had to give Ron 8 so he is down just 1. Karl and Ron are playing even so Karl's up 3. The back 9 could pretty much go without any comment. Mike nailed the putt of the day on #14, a 27 foot par, and followed that up with his first club toss of the year on #15. After hooking his drive, the former self proclaimed undefeated club tossing champ, launched an embarrassing 10.5 footer. After 15 holes Ron is up 2 on Mike and only down 1 to Karl. However, he also lost his PB and his confidence looked shaken. When Karl birdied #16 and parred#17 it was over. Mike, however, finished bogey; bogey and Ron went on to win by 1.

Scores:
1. Sam: 81- his first round of the year out of the 70's(but still undefeated)
2. Mike: 82
3. Karl:86
4. Ron:89

Birdies:
1.Sam-2
2.Karl-1

Shots of the day:
1.Sam: 104 yard wedge, 18 inches #4
2. Karl 219 yard 2nd shot #16 on fringe

Putts of the day:
1.Mike:27ft. par
2.Sam:16.5ft.birdie

Club toss:
1.Mike: 10.5 feet

Ranks:
1.LT
2.Sam
3.Karl
4.Mike
5.Ron

TFF Notes:
Again, we would like to thank President Obama for the down payment on the bail out. We would request the government's assistance in securing The Provisional Mulligan Trophy back. After being sold on EBay by Karl, it's location is unknown. "We must get this priceless trophy back and into the hand's of LT," said Karl. As for Ron and posting; maybe the best idea would be to have him hire someone to post for him.

Obama Bails Out TFF, Gives Presidential Pardon To Karl

"I can think of no better place, no better time, or in any better way to get America back on its' feet than to bail out TFF. We are a country that was built on the principle of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It is not just the privilege of a select few, but the constitutional right of every American to be able to read TFF!" So were the words of President Obama as he stepped off Air force1 this mourning in Jackson, Tn. to personally deliver the 1st economic stimulus check to the CEO of TFF Karl. Not only did Karl recieve a check for 1 billion dollars but also a full presidential pardon from Obama. "I at this time grant Karl a full pardon in all current lawsuits against him as well as any against TFF." In hopes of playing with TFF today, the president was dressed in his golf attire as well as standing by his golf bag. Karl, seeming somewhat in a rush, thanked the president for the check and quickly left. As he was departing he made this statement to the press: "This check will help, but we both need an deserve more!" Imagine the nerve of that guy thinking he could buy his way onto the links with us! Now I've got to run, we're teeing it up in Chickasaw in about an hour."

THE LAST POST : TFF To Be Shut Down

After over 1.5 months of operation, TFF blog is being shut down. Even as this post is being written, IRS agents are in the process of taking over all TFF assets. This popular Blog site is believed to have had over 4 readers in its' heyday. However, after TFF fired blog administrator Ashley, the readership has dropped off dramatically. "It was a case of we couldn't afford to keep her, but we couldn't afford to let her go " said CEO Karl. Lack of readers, however, may have been the least of problems for TFF. There are currently at least 7 known lawsuits filed against Karl:
1. LT v. Karl (you've read about this case)
2. The Lovely Dianne(H.L.) v. Karl (slander among other allegations)
3. Ron (the tongue) v. Karl (Ron's case is being supported by TDA(Tongue Disorders Anonymous)
4. Mike v. Karl (custody of his old irons)
5. Sam v. Karl( cruel and unusual punishment in regards to having to watch Karl's golf game all these years)
6. Ashley v. Karl (mental anguish from being fired)
7. Karl v. Karl ( that he should have won player of the year)

We caught up with the prosecuting attorney of the 1st 6 trials at The Old Country Store Ice Cream Fountain where he has been seen hanging out several hours each day. "I never thought Adam looked much like his dad until recently", said LT. "However, after 4 days of constantly eating all of our ice cream, he's starting to look like the 13 year old Karl we saw in the video." Adam was able to back away from the counter long enough to say:"We'll easily win all 6. Hey! how about another scoop of that rocky road!!" Meanwhile Karl was being handcuffed and escorted from TFF headquarters. "It's been a great ride, I've enjoyed all the perks of being a CEO and my only regret is selling The Provisional Mulligan Trophy on EBay. I'll be back. I'm confident that the president will bail TFF out , all allegations will be dropped, and we will be back where we belong."
P.S. : The former blog administrator(her name is not allowed to be used because of a current lawsuit), has changed the way you can post a comment. Simply type in your comment, (with your name if you want), then click anonymous and post comment. For the 2 that have figured out how to post you can still do it the same way.

Upon Further Review...

Queen & Dunlap, LLC
A Professional Corporation
1800 White Tower
Suite 9200
Memphis, Tennessee
90263-0043
(323) 528-9998


Laurence Taylor v. Karl H. Warren III
Now that the criminal accusations against my client have been dropped, we now bring action against TFF in state civil court for Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress.

4 elements of a successful IIED claim
1. Defendant acted intentionally or recklessly
- The intent of the act need not be to bring about emotional distress. A reckless disregard for the likelihood of causing emotional distress is sufficient.

Upon further review of the facts of the case, it has been determined that Karl Warren was in fact playing a "joke" or "prank" upon my client. Under Tennessee case law, even an act in good faith such as a "joke" or "prank" the actor can be held liable for the reckless disregard for those the "joke" or "prank" is upon.

2. Defendant’s conduct was extreme and outrageous
-Some general factors that will persuade that the conduct was extreme and outrageous:
(1) there was a pattern of conduct, not just an isolated incident;
- Research has shown that Karl Warren has a extensive record of previous pranks and disregard for ones feelings.
(2) the plaintiff was vulnerable and the defendant knew it;
- It is well known that my client is very trusting and believes that humans are naturally good beings, and would not want to intentionally inflict emotional distress upon others by jokes such as this.
(3) the defendant was in a position of power;
- Karl Warren is the president, and creator of the Friday Fivesome and is looked up to by all members.
4) racial epithets were used; and
- My client has numerously been referred to as the “Godfather” due to his Italian appearance. Racial references to his Italian appearance have even been posted on the Friday Fivesome’s website.

3. Defendant’s act is the cause of the distress
-The actions of the defendant must have actually caused the plaintiff's emotional distress.
- The joke was the direct cause of my clients emotional distress.

4. Plaintiff suffers severe emotional distress as a result of defendant’s conduct.
-The emotional distress suffered by the plaintiffs must be "severe." This standard is quantified by the intensity, duration, and any physical manifestations of the distress.
An example of an act which might form the basis for a claim of intentional infliction of emotional distress would be sending a letter to an individual falsely informing the person that a close family member had been killed in an accident.
- If the courts have found IIED in the above instance, our case is a lock because the falsely taking away of the prestigious Friday Fivesome championship trophy is a far more greater offence than the loss of a family member.

If no response is given within 14 days, default judgment will be entered by the court for my client, and damages will be awarded. Damages shall include swiping Karl Warren of his Presidential position over the Friday Fivesome, and 40 hours of community service.

Adam Warren

February 16, 2008

Just in case my client does not recover damages from this suit we figured we would go ahead and post this home video we dug up of Karl at Disney World on his 13th birthday. Be sure to turn your speakers on and then click on the link! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuTf7rPIuY8